Keep Your Children Happy… But Not Too Much: How to Avoid Spoiling Your Kids
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
One of the things most parents struggle with lies in trying to keep their children happy without spoiling them too much. While it may be great seeing your kid’s smiling faces and hearing their laughter all the time, there is a drawback to always letting them get what they want all the time.
That said, here are some tips to keep you child from turning into a “spoiled brat”:
Establish limits and boundaries
isn’t about giving them whatever they want, whenever they want it. In actuality, it’s more about teaching them how to be content with what they have. That said, make sure to create, communicate, and execute limits whenever giving in to one of your child’s whims.
For example, should your in the middle of the day, then allow them to – as long as they understand that there is a time limit as to how long they can do so. Once their time is up, then it’s up; establish to your child that he will not receive any more that what you’ve given and remind them that they were at least able to play at all.
Be consistent with the rules
Make sure to only lay down rules that you mean. If you say that your kid only gets one hour of playtime daily, then avoid caving in when they ask for more. While doing so may make your child happy in the short term, this will be detrimental to your authority as a parent in the long term.
That’s because not doing as you say will lead your child to believe that they can always second guess you or ask for more whenever they feel like it. In addition, it also teaches them that your words have weight – a mindset you definitely want to instill into them.
Teach them the value of work
Kids whose parents let them have everything they want too easily will end up taking the value of everything else for granted. Not only that, but they won’t have the grit needed to wait for long-term rewards as opposed to short-term ones.
So the next time your child requests for you to do something for them, try asking him for something in return. Even simple things like cleaning his room in exchange for extra desserts can help develop his patience and perseverance.
Don’t be afraid of disappointment
Understandably, parents don’t like disappointing their children. Seeing them pout or get mad after something they want gets denied isn’t a nice feeling, but take solace in the fact that you’re doing this for them.
For example, by rejecting them extended play hours, you are encouraging them to spend their time more productively. Similarly, limiting their portions of sweets or other junk food will keep them healthier. The same goes for when you make them sleep early. These little things may seem restrictive to them, but in the end your child is the one who will reap the benefits.
Do your best to let them know that too! For example, if your kid is throwing tantrums about having to bathe, then explain the importance of personal hygiene to him. Remember: a little communication and understanding can go a long way.
Keep in mind that as a parent, you know what is best for your child. That gives you the authority to call the shots, to make the rules, and to choose for them when needed. But that’s not to say you should dictate their every move. No – it simply means that you don’t have to adhere to what your child believes will make him happy. Rather, you should be able to balance giving your child what they want while making sure that it won’t affect them negatively in the long term.
It may be hard at first, but if you constantly encourage your child to be content, display patience, and be consistent with your rules, you’ll soon be able to keep your children happy without having to adhere to their definition of it.