Knowing how to talk your children is one of the most important things you should learn as a parent. But because talking with your kids is such a routine part of family life, you may not be aware of mistakes that you might be making in communicating with them. These mistakes, if not corrected, can become one of the reasons why your child might develop an unhealthy disposition towards you and other people.
Continue reading to know three of the most common mistakes parents make when talking to their children.
One of the most common mistakes parents make (whether they would like to admit it or not) is overusing the word ‘no’ during parent-children conversations. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with putting your foot down and saying ‘no’ to your child whenever she asks for something unreasonable.
However, a response of ‘no’ all the time might contribute to feelings of resentment and anger from your children. They might just give up on asking you for anything if they feel that you will deny their request anyway. This in turn, can lead to a shut down on the open lines of communication between you and your child.
A good relationship between parent and child depends on open, honest, and frequent communication. This is especially important to establish while your children are still young. Not only does this help your child to communicate well, but it also makes your relationship as parent and child much better.
Comparing your children with others is something you should avoid as a parent. You wouldn’t want your child comparing your parenting skills with that of his friends’ parents, would you? You have to remember that your child wants to be loved and accepted by you, and it is quite disheartening for him to be compared in an unfavorable light with other kids. This might cause your child to feel insecure and compel him to constantly check himself against other kids.
Remember that every child is unique, and though your child might not be progressing in different areas in the same way his classmates are, it’s important that you respect his pace and help him along.
Another thing parents are guilty of is being too repetitive. This is most evident when you are instructing them to do chores, or teaching them important life lessons. Even adults find it hard to listen to repetitive people — what more children who don’t have the same level of attention and patience as adults?
If you really want to your message to stick, try explaining in ways that are more meaningful and interesting to your child. If there is a task that needs to be done, avoid using the same words over and over. Use illustrations and examples to help your child understand. Remember also to be patient. Kids usually don’t get your message immediately. This will help your child to not become frustrated and avoid interacting with you altogether.
Mistakes such as those just mentioned can contribute to a strained and difficult relationship with your children. You want to establish good, open communication lines with your child early on. This will be a big help when they start entering their teenage years, because by then they will know that they can talk to you as their parents. Remember that you want your kids to know where you are coming from, and you want to know what is in their heart as well.