Knowing the types of parenting styles can help you understand how your treatment of your child affects their behavior and perception. Simply put, a parenting style is a set of actions or patterns that shape parent-children relationships. Although there is no clearly-defined way of how parents should treat their children, these parenting styles can serve as a guide for parents.
Three of the parenting styles that we know of today — authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive — were formulated by Diana Baumrind. Later on, these three were expanded to include the neglectful (or uninvolved) parenting style. Read on to find out more.
It’s not uncommon for Filipino children to have experienced a strict upbringing. In fact, you may have even been subject to this kind of parenting style when you were young. Although you may not be aware of it in the beginning, you might have also ended with using a parenting approach that can be characterized as authoritarian.
Authoritarian parenting involves parents that are strict and apply discipline by way of punishment. Instead of rewarding good behavior, these parents punish and enforce strictly-defined rules that the children must follow.
Children who grew up with this kind of parenting might end up having a poor sense of self-esteem. They may also tend to act out in aggression whenever things don’t go as planned, simply because it’s what they’ve been used to during their childhood.
The authoritative parenting style is vastly different from authoritarian, although they may sound similar. Authoritative parents have a high level of responsiveness to their children. They are attuned to their children’s needs — whether it is emotional, physical, or mental. Despite this, parents are able to define boundaries and are consistent with how they set rules.
Some researchers consider this to be the most effective parenting style because it takes into consideration the emotions of the children. Instead of punishment, consequences are enforced clearly and with reason.
With this in mind, authoritative parents tend to raise children who are happy, content, independent, and are able to express their emotions in a healthy manner. They’re also driven, assertive, and know how to socially navigate their surroundings.
As the name suggests, neglectful parenting involves parents that are not really responsive to their children’s needs. Parents who are like this, may not even bother to set rules or demands, to the point that they may care only very little about their children’s emotional needs.
Neglectful parents might still give their children the basic necessities, but it doesn’t go beyond this. For example, a neglectful father may spend more time in work. He is wholly uninvolved with the lives of his children. He doesn’t help them out at school, or he may skip the important events of his children’s lives altogether.
Neglectful parenting may end up producing children who have had no choice but to learn how to stand on their own. They tend to be emotionally repressive and may have high stress and anxiety levels because of the absence of support from a loving authoritative figure.
Permissive parents are the exact opposite of authoritarian parents. This is what you may commonly know as “spoiled parenting.” Parents who are permissive may find themselves very rarely denying their children’s demands. They don’t really set boundaries. While they may show genuine care and concern for their child, they find it difficult to become more authoritative and exact discipline whenever necessary.
For example, a permissive parent may simply give in every time their child asks for something they want — be it a toy or an activity. They may spoil their child to the point that everything is handed to the children on a silver spoon and the children live relatively comfortable and unbothered lives.
Children who grow up with this kind of parenting tend to just act in the way they see fit because they weren’t really exposed to consequences in their childhood. They may be more prone to making impulsive choices without regard for the outcome. While these children may end up having a high sense of the self, they may oftentimes base their worth externally, rather than within themselves.
As described above, the four types of parenting styles are authoritarian, authoritative, neglectful, and permissive.
None of these parenting styles may be better than the other, but the authoritative style has long been considered by researchers as the most effective one. This parenting style is able to tread a fine balance between discipline and nurture which not all of the other parenting styles are able to accomplish.
If you think you’re leaning more into one parenting style more than the other, then it may be wise to examine your patterns and how your child responds to them. Hopefully, with this knowledge, you’ll be able to find the right style that is still able to promote a disciplined, yet loving environment for your child.