Whether it’s providing nutritious meals or paying for the tuition fee of their international school in Manila, most parents want their kids to grow up successful. Helping your children develop the right attitudes means giving good advice and guiding them to do well in school.
While your teachings may have good intentions, there may be some advice that may only produce short-term results. In fact, some of these are known to actually be counterproductive by making your children more prone to burnout and overall stress.
Let’s explore some of the worst pieces of advice parents usually give their kids:
“Being busy equals productivity”
Kids, even at their young age, are likely to feel pushed by a lot of people. Teachers may be urging them to join more extra-curricular activities or their friends may keep asking them to play after school even when they feel tired. Unfortunately, many young kids can make themselves too pre-occupied by not knowing how to say no.
Oftentimes, it might be better to remind your children to relax. If they never get adequate rest and constantly drown themselves with activities because people keep encouraging them to, then they may eventually not know what to prioritize anymore.
They may end up multitasking, leading to results of poor quality. Additionally, they may end up using so much of their energy that tiredness becomes their normal state.
It can be very healthy to let your kids know that having fun or setting aside time to simply rest is just as important as accomplishing tasks.
“Focus on the future”
As a parent, you only want the best future for your kids. Thus, you may constantly remind your children to study hard and do well in a certain sport so they may go to a good college and get a good job. But always telling them to focus on the distant future may make them less capable of enjoying the present.
Instead, it can actually be more efficient to encourage your kids to live in the moment because it has a lot of benefits. One, it can help your kids develop higher self-esteem because they learn to accept who they are right now. Second, it allows them to have deeper bonds with family and friends. And lastly, it helps them stay more focused on the challenges they are currently facing.
When you are able to motivate them to do school work and extra-curricular activities just to enjoy the positivity of learning, you are also teaching them to be happy and content with what they have.
“Never show weakness”
You may have told your kid to never show weakness in a time when he was crying over being teased, having a fight with a friend, or failing in school. While you may assume that this will toughen them, it usually does the opposite.
When children are repeatedly told this piece of advice, they become obsessed with perfection and unable to accept criticism. Additionally, it also makes them uncomfortable with feelings of discomfort such as sadness.
Instead, you should teach your child self-compassion with statements such as “You deserve to treat yourself well.” They will begin to see that negative emotions and mistakes are there to help them grow. Furthermore, they usually become more resilient to life’s perils.
Key Takeaway
Whether you are aware of it or not, you may become prone to giving the wrong pieces of advice such as those mentioned above and end up putting too much pressure on your kid.
Besides preparing healthy meals and paying the tuition fee of their international school in Manila, raising successful children means guiding them with the right advice.
