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Tuesday, October 22, 2019
Jealousy is an emotion that many children have difficulty contending with., Experiencing jealousy is natural in a given child’s growing process, especially in the development of social skills. Whether your child studies at an international school in the Philippines or elsewhere, it is important to know how to guide him towards overcoming his feelings of jealousy.
Left unchecked, feelings of jealousy can lead to more negative emotions and can manifest in hurtful behaviors such as humiliating and belittling. As parents, you can help temper your child’s feelings and manage how he deals with certain emotions. Thankfully, there are some concrete ways to do just that.
Psychology experts are in agreement that jealousy and envy stem from a feeling of insecurity, a feeling of ‘worthlessness’ and that something is lacking. This is due to an undeveloped value system that children have.
A common experience that many children (and people in general) face is when their peers have something that they don’t. For kids, it can be in the form of a new toy, bag, or clothes. However, it is not limited to material things because children can also be jealous of people with talents and capabilities in sports, academics, or music.
Be open with him. It may be best for you to talk to him directly about these feelings. Telling your child that every person is unique and that it is normal for other people to have things that they don’t is fundamental in instilling a better value system. Instead of trying to match what the other child has materially, try sharing your own personal experiences regarding jealousy and how you dealt with it without having to compete.
Due to the wide popularity of social media, it plays a big role in the proliferation of feelings of insecurity. When your child browses popular social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, he is exposed to many pictures and videos that project an ideal lifestyle. Naturally, a young person may be led to believe that what he sees on social media is what life is supposed to be. This can develop feelings of envy and can make your child more demanding and superficial.
One way to curb this kind of behavior is to regulate and ultimately minimize your child’s exposure to social media. Try setting curfews or monitoring your child’s computer or phone usage without compromising his privacy. Not only will this help him overcome feelings of jealousy, but it will also help in instilling good habits in your child such as going to bed early or better studying practices.
How your child views himself in relation to the other people around him is a crucial factor in whether he will feel jealous or not. If you instill in your child a comfortable sense of confidence based on self-worth, he will not have a hard time dealing with feelings of envy.
The best international schools in the Philippines are aware of a child’s predisposition to feeling jealous and do what they can in school to develop their value systems. It’s best to supplement that with your own active participation in your child’s development. This will help your child grow in all facets of his life.