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Monday, December 24, 2018
Students from an international school in the Philippines or otherwise have the potential to be remarkable in whatever field they choose. As a parent, it is only natural that you are proud of their achievements. But there are times when overpraising can result in unfavorable circumstances.
Giving heaps of conventional praise may seem like you are building their confidence. However, there are actually some adverse results in doing so. Take a look at more fruitful alternatives below.
Alternative to: You are so smart!
This phrase will influence your children to work harder and to continue learning as they go along. In addition, you will help them understand that being smart is not an end goal. Rather, they should continue to explore and learn new things.
Alternative to: Your peers must be proud of you!
Telling them to take pride in their accomplishments will teach them how to be self-assured. As they grow up, it would be a good thing for them to understand that they should not depend on other people’s affirmation. They must learn to recognize their own efforts without leaning towards pleasing other people.
Alternative to: You are so great at that!
Instead of praising a singular act, recognize the whole effort they put in order to arrive at a favorable result. Going the extra mile means that they took it upon themselves to extend their capabilities to do something admirable.
Telling them that they are great at something can set them up for disappointment if they happen to fail at it later on. With this alternative praise, you can help them comprehend that their efforts are just as significant (if not more significant) than having a successful output.
Alternative to: You are such a good kid!
If you always tell your children that they are “good,” this may open up moments of self-doubt and feelings riddled with guilt if they unintentionally step out of line. This is dangerous because you may be creating a jarring standard without even knowing it.
Psychotherapist Philippa Perry said, “strict parents can create an atmosphere where the child feels that he is not safe to tell the truth.” She’s saying that kids could end up being dishonest just so they could please you.
Alternative to: I had fun with you today!
It may seem too literal, but implying that you only had fun with your kids for that day can pressure them into thinking that you can sometimes dislike being in their company.
The alternative phrase is a positive reinforcement that will build a sense of comfort and familiarity, eventually improving your relationship with him.
Parents naturally always want to commend their kids, whether or not they go to an international school in the Philippines. However, conventional praises may hurt them in the long run. As alternatives, you could use the phrases listed above. At the end of the day, they could be more impactful to your children!